I don't know about all of you but I'm pretty sick of celebrating birthday every year... It gets old after sometimes.. Yes i was born, so was the rest of billions of people.. What's so special about it... Anyway..
Found a little piece of mail flickering in the inbox that went by the subject do reply.. Something i thought I should post..
A birthday wish from a lost soul...
"
Hey!
So i have no freaking idea. Cuz you confused me bad. But in my memory.
A VERY BERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOGESH!!
Been trying to write a perfect letter for a week now. Vain.
We have known each other ten months today! Yeah. Ten months. We have laughed we have fought we have stared at each other embarrassed stares more laughs and stares kissed a few times. We still know so less about each other yet i feel as if we are so close. We talk about things and pain being our strongest suit and put on the cover of being non emo. You especially. Maybe you are. Your are 24 today. Woah! Lost your youth years ago yes. Still young in my eyes. I wish i could be there today with you. Well i wanted to. Had the perfect plan. But had made promises to my nephew to take him out. So couldn't say no. No excuses here allowed. I know.
I want to make you happy cuz of me too. You are at peace and you are content sort of.as you say. Good. Well i have atleast been one of the constant women in your life for the past months. That makes me glad. Feels good. I want to sot with you like before and talk just talk. Hope it happens soon. I get permission. And be less fearful.
Want to make you laugh. Want to see you blush. Yes you do blush. Want to stare at you and get those chills when you stare back. Just us. Having fun like we used to. We both need it. I do.
I hope this year brings you happiness. Hope this birthday changes things and take you more closer to your professional goals. And yes the few clicks on snapchat too. So you can flash all you want. :*
My opinions of you are still the same as they were day one. But I won't call you sad anymore. I trust you. What you say. You van find your own happiness and distarctions very well wherever you want. Admire that about you. Its better than sitting alone and crying. Isn't it. Probably. Well. Be content. It suits you. It always will. DON'T LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE. wrote it in the letter too. Don't know if you have ever read it again. Its just a reminder for you of how amazingly cute you are. And how i am always there by your side standing next to you in all good and bad. For i wanna be your angel with the horns on my head. :p
Will be here for you. Maybe not meet you. But we always got skype biba. I am not a good person i know that. I remember you were by my side onmy birthday and always are here whenever i ask. But i suck i know. You made my birthday so so so much special. Hope i could do the same. But al i am doing is writing you a freakishly long email. I know we talked about a lil details pf your past. I atill regret it at times. But mglad now i know your pain atleast a bit. If not all. I am really really sorrgabout that.
But yu came out headstrong again. Super proud of you. Stars are in your eyes darling. You will always shine. And it rhymed. Wow.
I am here. Holding your hand always. Don't let go. I am here for you. Not just for me.
I would love to all your tattoos one day in person. Let's cuddle and talk. Oh you don't cuddle. Hmm. Its okay. We can. Your secrets are safe with me bibaa. Always.
Cuddle ❤️
Hehe. So pushy i am.
A very berrry happy birthday my wolfy!!
Stay awesome. The handsomest star.
L you
Won't say it before you do now.
Hehe
mmmuaaah!!!
Laaado meri. "
I seriously melt whenever i imagine her calling me laado...
To which i replied...
"
It's just the way i want it to be.
i was born, that was a good enough reason to celebrate. but i was born 24 years ago. PERIOD. Birthday is just another day for me,
i don't believe in celebrating the fact that I've lived for another year without much of a loss. Or i've gained some extraordinary experience in this period, nothing like that. evolution isn't constant, doesn't have a cycle.
anyway.
thanks for your wishes.
yes, I'm at peace, I'm happy with the distractions because this makes me live the life to it's full potential. I've added another chapter to it by joining talwalkars at c scheme. because i needed to fill the space between getting off from work to going back to my home and taking care of the plants. I'm not a fan of healthy life or anything but just wanted to spend the time by doing something constructive. Yes. I'm living life the way i want, so later on after 10 years I don't have any regrets for not trying. I've stopped shaving since past 2-3 months and shaved off my head again. i laugh at strangers who's first reaction after watching me is that if i'm muslim or sikh. It's a fun fact that how easily our society judges a person based on his looks, gesture or the way he persuade stuff. You can call me an ISIS agent or Amish for instance.. doesn't matter. never did.
And it's not about you and me having a discussion about that era of my life. everyone has their fare share of good time and bad time, what matters is how you handle the situation. I happen to handled it in worst ways that i never feel pride for, maybe everything happens for a reason. I don't think about life as if things would have been better if that part didn't occurred in that particular way in my life. what happened... happened. We can't change it. A great love story doesn't have a happy ending. Cliché, i know.. but yes its true.
but life is much better then these things, we have so much to live for, smallest moments can give you greatest pleasure, for instance I've just realised i don't stare much at keyboard to type. it's a cause of happiness.. small yet it holds it's beauty.
focus on yourself and learn the art of perfection. been my mantra for a while now. I've learned that you shouldn't be dependent on others for your happiness, everyone has their own set of problems to deal with. If you want to do something take first step towards it, toddler step, but a step, at least you've pride that you chose this path, trust me pappi ji, even if you fail at a wrong decision, you'll have a glory of taking it yourself. and don't press the blame on others for your life.
Does it affect me that even after being 24 you're chicken shit scared off your parents, a little yes. do i care? nope. i don't really think about it. your life, your policies. At least you can be happy about the fact that your shit rich.. :P kidding. you're awesome at correcting other's grammar.. and you've got soft paws.. i just want to eat them up.. :P . do i advice you to do anything.. nope. just find the purpose to live... that's what i search for.
Am i at a better place now. Yes, and it can always get better if i push myself an extra mile. another breathe... another step.
being happy or sad is just a matter of choice.
you just have to find yours.
xoxo Saiba,
hugs and love.
i was born, that was a good enough reason to celebrate. but i was born 24 years ago. PERIOD. Birthday is just another day for me,
i don't believe in celebrating the fact that I've lived for another year without much of a loss. Or i've gained some extraordinary experience in this period, nothing like that. evolution isn't constant, doesn't have a cycle.
anyway.
thanks for your wishes.
yes, I'm at peace, I'm happy with the distractions because this makes me live the life to it's full potential. I've added another chapter to it by joining talwalkars at c scheme. because i needed to fill the space between getting off from work to going back to my home and taking care of the plants. I'm not a fan of healthy life or anything but just wanted to spend the time by doing something constructive. Yes. I'm living life the way i want, so later on after 10 years I don't have any regrets for not trying. I've stopped shaving since past 2-3 months and shaved off my head again. i laugh at strangers who's first reaction after watching me is that if i'm muslim or sikh. It's a fun fact that how easily our society judges a person based on his looks, gesture or the way he persuade stuff. You can call me an ISIS agent or Amish for instance.. doesn't matter. never did.
And it's not about you and me having a discussion about that era of my life. everyone has their fare share of good time and bad time, what matters is how you handle the situation. I happen to handled it in worst ways that i never feel pride for, maybe everything happens for a reason. I don't think about life as if things would have been better if that part didn't occurred in that particular way in my life. what happened... happened. We can't change it. A great love story doesn't have a happy ending. Cliché, i know.. but yes its true.
but life is much better then these things, we have so much to live for, smallest moments can give you greatest pleasure, for instance I've just realised i don't stare much at keyboard to type. it's a cause of happiness.. small yet it holds it's beauty.
focus on yourself and learn the art of perfection. been my mantra for a while now. I've learned that you shouldn't be dependent on others for your happiness, everyone has their own set of problems to deal with. If you want to do something take first step towards it, toddler step, but a step, at least you've pride that you chose this path, trust me pappi ji, even if you fail at a wrong decision, you'll have a glory of taking it yourself. and don't press the blame on others for your life.
Does it affect me that even after being 24 you're chicken shit scared off your parents, a little yes. do i care? nope. i don't really think about it. your life, your policies. At least you can be happy about the fact that your shit rich.. :P kidding. you're awesome at correcting other's grammar.. and you've got soft paws.. i just want to eat them up.. :P . do i advice you to do anything.. nope. just find the purpose to live... that's what i search for.
Am i at a better place now. Yes, and it can always get better if i push myself an extra mile. another breathe... another step.
being happy or sad is just a matter of choice.
you just have to find yours.
xoxo Saiba,
hugs and love.
I don't have a reason to post this one but whenever i read this conversation... I found that I'm so full of myself.. Lol..
Love yourself..
