While traveling back from Delhi... I'm staring blank at this quote..
"You can't change the truth..
But the truth,
Can change you..
Forever... "
How simply someone had put entire meaning of life in few mortal lifeless words... How one incident flips someone's life upside down... Yin and Yan..
Yes I'm drunk.. Again.. A quarter of local rum was good enough to evolve the buried corpse of a writer out of this dead pool of cold blood..
Loving someone is your fate.. Your luck... You won't say that you'll ever regret that decision... If i had the chance, I'll do it all over again... In a blink of eye without thinking twice...Because it was the most beautiful.. Unforgettable... Journey.. The first mistake of my life... It's like being hooked to a dead end... Fatal addiction..
When you know you're an alcoholic and your liver will give up soon if you won't stop drinking... Oops.. Bad reference.. Pretty self contradictory...let's try a new one.. Like having a smoke... You know.. This is dead end... Your lungs will give up on you soon... But you can't stop... Reminds me of one of my late relative ... He was a chain smoker... Even after knowing that he can die any moment if he won't stop smoking... He'd puff another cancer stick... Boosting the immunity of cancer cells of his lungs.. Guess he accepted his body for what it was... For what it had... He accepted the cancer cells.. He fead them smoke and tobacco and promoted their growth till the end..
Same goes when you're hopelessly obsessed with a dead person.. Remember the first half of ps i live you.. ? Something like that.. Well the sad part.. Just the sad part.. No pun included.. The reality is in front of you... Your friend will shook the hell out of you and slap reality on your face numerously trying to show you the practical life.. The logical truth.. You can see that whatever happened.. Happened... You can't change the ending.. Life is not a fairy tale... People are met to fall apart.. You're supposed to get over her... She's moved on.. She.. Don't even remember you... Even if someone brings up your name in front of her.. She'd give a blank clueless look...
Does it hurt?
Like a dagger in your heart... Like a Boucher's knife with sharp hooks is stabbed in your stomach and then twisted ... And when it's pulled out, it pulls out your bleeding intestines... And parts of your last meals spills out of your mouth, soaked in blood and smell of gutter..
It hurts... And no one can ease the pain... It's an alienating feeling.. And no matter what happens..you'll never ever be the same person again...
Yes it's true.. Truth can change you... Truth does change you.. It changes you to something you hate, something monstrous.. Something below pond scum.. Something that's not alive... Something that exists but don't live.. Something that's a matter... But it doesn't matter at all..
And the worst thing is that even after knowing that it's killing you inside out... You're happy with the way it is.. You have accepted the cancer is at the last stage.. And it doesn't matter if you live or die.. You can light up another cigarette or gulp down another bottle because you know that death is certain.. And there's nothing that you can do about it.. It just can't get any worse.. Too late for redemption...
It's said that you should let go the one you love.. If they come back... They're yours .. If they don't.. They were never yours...
Fine we let them go.. Go , went, gone.. Never come back..wipe off our memories.. They were never meant to be... Live your life.. Fall in love.. Grow old with the one you love.. Live happily ever after..
But what about us? Where's the rest of the quote? Where do we go after it ends?
Where's our salvation.. Nirvana.. ?
Hum jeete ek baar hai..
Marte ek bar hai..
Pyar..
Pyar bhi shayad ek hi bar hota hai.
The end... ?
