messed

What does make sense?

Infect does anything makes sense at all? I am four days away from my seventh semester’s main exams.  And after all plans and strategies, all the rough work and all the aims, motives, I am sitting on my desk, writing once again.

As I was left with 10 days for preparation for my exams, I decided to leave few things until I get rid of my exams. I signed off from gym for 20 days, I left college, meetings, social gatherings, even the writing, and when I say I left writing I mean I left pretty much “everything”. To give my whole hours to study and study only. But what am I left with?

Fake promises that I made to myself?  I have hardly read 10% of my whole course with no info about the 90% I still have to complete in four days.

Picking up book for 10 minutes, pick up facebook for another hour, a whole night to movies. I am watching movies more then I watch on regular days. Have I become a movieholic? Does that count in a disorder? I guess not as if it did, MS word would have approved it as a grammatical error free disorder.

Am I enjoying this break as a holiday from work cause all I do my whole time is eat sleep watch movies and add this hour to useless writing that won’t get me a regular pay check anyway?

When I used to go to college, I had this tight schedule of going college, sleeping afternoon sweating for 2 hours at gym and sleeping right at 2 or 3 am. Its late I know but even if it was late, I used to wake up again at same 7 in the morning.

But now, I sleep at 6 in the morning, I wake up at 4 in afternoon, the time when everyone works I lay dead on my bed. The time when everyone sleeps, I watch movies.

As I can recall, I’ve  seen rush, a typical hindi 2 and half star hindi movie, which was watchable for once but couldn't make a memorable impact on me and the rubysparks, which was an amazingly created movie made by a fresh mind.

I just can’t resist this urge to watch more and more of anything.

What am I up to with my life is a mystery to myself.  I am 20, will become 21 in the initial months of next year, except from age what am I gaining?

The spirit,
I am just loosing it…..!!