The republic day

Republic: dictionary meaning: A state in which supreme power is held by the people.

We live in a country of 1.241 billion people, where a kid is born every minute, rape in every 2 minutes, crime, every second. A country where a girl is imprisoned for posting a status against a local leader, a country where a painter(Aseem trivedi) is imprisoned for drawing out his rage against dirty politics. A country where some saints like swami nigamananda died saving ganga(a holy river)  from illegal mining and stone crushing and saints like asaram live freely from true allegations like rapes, murders, molestation  and child exploitation.

A country where political leaders are gangsters and gangsters are heroes of cinema.  A country where queues are meant for only the middle class, where seats for poor are filled by wealthy and medical colleges are filled with illiterates morons, the only deserving peoples are born with silver spoon. A country where the only safe citizens are roaming with z security & the only eligible politician is blood of an old one.

 The leader who stands for citizen is snagged with fake claims, and leader who is criminal is crowned as minister of law. The socialite who raises its voice against the system is shot, burned or killed by the mafias and the socialite who throws cocktail parties is featured in reality shows.

We live in a country where a father can sell out his bachelor son to highest bidder but can kill the same son for his honor. A husband who can love his wife for her alluring looks or her wealthy background but can leave the same wife for her disability to conceive a child. A mother who can kill her own child for being a weaker sex.

We live in a country which is labeled as democratic republic and independent.
But these labels are just stickers of genuinely on a sham. 

The Novelist

For a new born writer, it’s always been a tough choice to create a novel. So as for me, it was a long journey to choose and search a novel material. As I grew a year older with constant motivation by my loved ones, I finally found the courage to write on my own past. Yes, I have started writing a novel on my own life.

I don’t know how people would take it or how they would react on it but do hell with people, I am writing it for my own sake. I just want them to know, that underneath this jovial fellow, lives a sad old dying soul that howls for its past.

I want them to know about my view and my journey on love, friendship, intimacy, betrayal and god knows what else.

After writing about 10% of the story, I did realize it takes a lot to reveal the secretive parts of your life and I respect those who took the courage to write it.

  I have to say that I am worried about the reaction of my parents and friends, the way they have seen me, the way I’ve grown up around them and the thing I am writing are absolutely opposite.  Things I am writing are not made for parents to read about their children, and I will try my level best to keep them away from it. I wish I can write 3 versions for different generations though (chuckles) for parents, for under 18, and for the 18++.

Anyway, we can’t halt what’s destined to happen. Let it be, let the word buzz in town.

I don’t give a piece of shit.

In 2 hours

There were many encounters with graceful kind of peoples in my life, I had relationships, I had break ups, crushes & few flings. But soon after the roughest break up I had, I started disbelieving the thing called “love”. Though I still have an envious desire to be with someone, I can’t give a name to that relationship. 

It all seems too phony to me, and this presumption became sturdier when I recollect the incident of last 2 days or the specific two hours. 

HOUR NO 1

In my facebook profile, I found a startling raise in notifications on one day. A girl named khushi had liked and commented on more than 30 snaps of mine, I genuinely accept that I don’t count under the “tall dark handsome” category but still praised by a stranger, I felt obliged as well as awed, my consciences told me to not fall for the bait . Most of the time I stay offline while logging on to my account as I’ve always walked away from chit chats, but that day I went online. Yes, she was right there, stolen a look of mine at her tab. 

“hi” initiated conversation. Well the trick is to not show too much interest yet seemed into her. Just like push and pull.  Comment on her at one moment compliment on another.

“I think you’re single right now, isn’t it?” I texted  

“Yup, but how do you know?” she.

“it’s just a logical theory of mine, anyways”

“tell me no? I am interested in these logics” 

(when you succeed to glue her to the conversation, it shows she’s interested in you. )

it doesn’t matter what logic you tell her. It must sound appealing as well as baiting for a longer conversation. And when she has already liked your snaps, you are on a way to success.

“But I think your committed” (she)

“and why is that?”

“logic ;) ”

(when the opponent pulls out the same trick, it means she’s definitely in to you, now even if you know the answer you have to seem interested.)

“OMG. I love logics. Please tell me that?”

Doesn’t matter either what crazy stuff she tells you, you must show you’re impressed.

When the both sides show an “involved” signal, the first step is done.

I just lay back on that time and knew I don’t have anything to do now, in the next 5 minutes she told me things you hear in Indian movies, like

“A lot things are common between us” 

(even if it wasn’t I hated justin bieber whereas she loved him, I found novels and writing blogs interesting whereas she found it dreary, but I don’t know after all of contrast nature, she was still into me that was indeed odd)

But I didn’t wanted to hurt any sentimental back then and politely replied.

“Yes it isJ”

“You know what lets exchange numbers?”

(Wow what was that? Few minutes ago we were completely outsiders and now we were exchanging numbers)

“ummm okay.. ” (With hesitation)

“8890267234 call me ;)

“Okay”

and after that I went offline. With doubts and ambiguity about today’s generation, I guess I am too old now. 

HOUR NO 2.

“Hey, you didn’t call me yesterday?”

“I was a bit busy” (I wasn’t busy but I didn’t like the way it was going, too fast)

“Anyway, tell me yours digits and I’ll call you Mr. busy boy”

“9920276248”

“gotcha ;) I really liked the way you were talking yesterday, though I dislike your affection to novels and writing, I found you dashing in your snaps”

“shukira J” (means thanks)

And a moment later we were chatting over cellphone, this and that here and there. She sound really into me and I was really into the novel I wasn’t able to read because of her, I regretted giving her my digits.  

“Listen, I’ve pre boards till 29 then we shall meet over a movie or something”

“you sure you want to meet on this crucial time of your main exams?”

When I was in 12^th I was immersed into last year papers on that time, things are changed now.

“No big deal sweetheart anything for you”

“Okay, hey it’s too late for now, we’ve been talking for whole 30 minutes, and shouldn’t we sleep now?”

“Oh c’mon... It’s just 1 am, don’t tell me you sleep early and shit?”

“No but you must, it’s not good at exam time”

“Okay…. Good night, I lo--”

I ended the call before she dropped the 3 letter word. I was literally horrified at that moment.

She called me regularly for the next 3-4 days but I always cut her short by saying that her exams are much important then our conversation.

It must sound like I am afraid of relationships by reading this post. But it’s not. I am just different then rest. For me the relationship that reaches the top with a great pace falls down with greater. It’s like gravity, projectile motion.

Replican nation

India, once a country known for its holy traditions, genuine spices and versatile culture is now going replica of other nations in the art section.

I can’t identify what are the real reasons behind it, lack of ingenuity & risk adaption or fear of failure. Because when I see movies of today’s Indian cinema, half of them are replicas of foreign movies.  For example,

Desi boys- deucebigalow male gigolo

Houseful- The cooler

Players- The Italian job

Aisha – emma

The list goes on by endless titles, but the real offence the film makers make is claiming their movies to be genuine, obviously it’s a promotional strategy since no one would watch their movie in first place if they tell the audience that it’s a remake of another movie.

What our movie makers are lacking is not only creativity but intelligence as well. They try to remake an English movie in half or less price of its original budget. Why would a person waste his money on a replica if he can get the genuine vision easily at torrent or other download sites?

Though there are producers who make a “genuine copy” by openly accepting their source of inspiration like karan johar did in we are family, which was a remake of English movie step mom, failed to create any sensation anyways.

As the time changes source of copying has also been diverted to other directions like south Indian cinema and old hindi movies itself.  Like ssholay, agneepath and forthcoming janjeer.zanjeer

Though these acts will continue for a long time, peoples like anurag kashyap, rakeysh omprakashmehra, sanjay leela bhansali and imtiaz ali kept my belief alive in indian cinema.

Not only movies but music as well, who can forget the legendary self claimed artist anu malik, well his time is gone now but he did his bit of duplication, must not forget pritam whose tracks are a lot like foreign songs for which he had been dragged to court few times, although I loved the music of barfi and raabta from agent vinod but that doesn’t make him clean.  Still the music has been copied from ages so that’s not a big deal these days.
movies, posters(or shall I say imposters), music, tv shows and what else.

What took my attention most was the recent novel I read, “30 year old virgin” by ankit uttam, I should have thought for a while before starting it when the title itself ring a bell about the movies like “The 40 year old virgin” “18 year old virgin”. But that was just title.

The 30 year old virgin was a immitation of friendswith benefits starring justin timberlake and mila kunis. Can’t leave the post without writing how mesmerising mila kunis eyes looks, damn shes HAWT.!

Remember this scene? Yes, exactly this is the place where actual shit begins.

Friends with benefits {MOVIE}

30 year old virgin {NOVEL}

Jamie: God, I miss sex! Right, I mean sometimes you just need it. It's like...uh, it's like cracking your neck.  Dylan: Why does it always got to come with complications? Jamie: And emotions. Dylan: And guilt. Jamie: Woh! Guilt! Dylan: It's women’s fault. Jamie: What? Dylan: You heard me! 'Hold me.' 'Let’s spend the rest of our lives together.' Jamie: Oh, please! You are no better. 'Oh, yeah. Baby, come on now. Say my name. Yeah...eee...uuhh! I'm done. How was that?' Dylan: Who have you been with?

maya: yeah, sometime you just need it. Just like cracking your knuckles. Arnav: sex always comes with problems. Maya: and complications. Arnav: and sentimental. Maya: and responsibility. Arnav: and guilt. Maya:  arrah… guilt. Arnav: it’s a woman’s fault. Maya: what? Arnav: oh majnu,hold me.kiss me like you have never kissed before. Let’s spend our lives together. Maya: “and guys. C’mon baby… ugh.. say my name.. ahhh.. Yeah say it.. Say it .. ahh.. I am done. How was that?” Arnav: who the hell have you been with for all those years?

 This is one of many actually many of many actually the half novel is full on ripped of friends with benefits. Where gay tommy hits on justin, gay Ronnie hits on arnav, where justin and mila take oath on a bible app on mila’s notepad, arnav and maya take the oath on arnav’s gita. Same catalog read before sex like “I don’t like dirty talk, my nipples are sensitive” and other precautionary measures.

You can read the novel or watch the movie, if you ask me, go for the movie, since originality is always better. For the same reasons I never liked 3 idiots whereas 5 point something was way superior as well as vivacious.

It’s not that I am being offensive rude or insulting the authors, writers, directors or producers. I am just being a little sensible. It’s more profitable as well. A best seller novel or a hit movie is made of genuine subjects.

Look at these small budget movies that grossed crazy figures.

DHOBI GHAT

Director- Kiran Rao

Starring- Prateik Babbar, Aamir Khan, Monica Dogra, Kriti Malhotra

Rating- 4/5

Kiran Rao’s directorial debut was about Munna, a dhobi at the dhobi ghat of Mumbai and his clients. It shows the various shadesof the city Mumbai. The movie is one of the best films of 2011 without a doubt. Dhobi Ghat touches you, shocks you and makes you think.

Made on a budget of Rs. 10 crores, the movie managed to rake in Rs. 14 crore despite being offbeat.

YEH SAALI ZINDAGI

Director- Sudhir Mishra

Starring- Irrfan Khan, Arunoday Singh, Chitrangda Singh

Rating- 3.5/5

Yeh Saali Zindagi opened to empty cinemas on 4 February 2011. The movie was about politics, kidnapping, betrayal and twists. Word of mouth helped the movie pick up some moolah in its second week.

Yeh Saali Zindagi had a budget of Rs. 8 Crores and it managed to bring in Rs. 11 Crores, making the producer Prakash Jha a happy man.

PYAR KA PUNCHNAMA

Director- Luv Ranjan

Starring- Kartik Tiwari, Rayo Bakhirta, Nushrat Bharucha, Ishita Sharma, Divyendu, Sonalli Sahgall

Rating- 3 / 5

Pyar Ka Punchnama is about three bachelors and their love lives. It gives the viewer a man’s opinion on relationships, girls and marriage. Though the film is a bit crass and biased against women, it is a good entertainer. PKP had no hopes at the Box Office in its first week but because there was no big film to counter it and the word of mouth spread in its favor, the movie managed to make some profit.

Pyar Ka Punchnama was made on a budget of Rs. 12 Crores and managed to get the producers around Rs. 16 Crores.

Not only these but also kahani, no one killed Jessica, hazaron khwahishein aisi and a lot more.

Just give it a thought. A star may come with a guaranteed hit, but a genuine story can make it way more profitable.

we are capable, we have everything, we just need a gut feeling to take risks.

Diffusion

There are certain prospective by which a person is partitioned or diffused in plenty of personalities. Views which categorize one into many. Although I’ve never gave much of a thought about it as it would be a squander of time for anyone, still as an explorer or by simple curiosity I would try to figure out how exactly I fill the spaces of others lives.

As they says “if you have to judge peoples, step into their shoes”, I am not judging but building my own image in other’s mind. How exactly I appear to others.

MY PARENTS:

Although my parents have a certain level of understanding with each other, as per I see their view toward me partially differs.

There’s no second thought about me being much closer to my father emotionally, I am dependent on both of them entirely.  I feel a bit gloomy over my existence that I didn’t came up to their expectations, though I never sense this in their words or behavior towards me but I am certain that they would have been much happier if I would have made an impact on rest. They don’t disclose but are bothered by my motionless social life. I accept the fact that I am sort of an anti social person. Speak less or nothing in front of the rest of family tree or the substantially chain of relatives. At some point they do hate the cynic in me. I can’t blame the isolated upbringing in an air force campus since my sister had been through same life style and she turned out to be a great socialite, I envy her for that. Since childhood I have been a “in shell” person, but that doesn’t make me a hard core rebellious.  I share joyous moment with my parents and always will.

MY FRIENDS:

I do support a petite friend circle that has the faithful and honest mortals, it might sound cheesy but I am proud of those few peoples. It does used to be a gargantuan circle in the school days and the initials of college, but don’t know how, don’t know why the size kept reducing and reached the mighty end of extinction, it seems true when people says "your friends changes with your priorities", through time maybe i fell on the bottom of their priority list and one day i was drained out of it. I guess the prime reasons were my sensible nature and cynical philosophy. A person hurts me and expect me to get over it easily is a rare likelihood. i don’t forgive neither forget, cause I am a mortal creature, I am not  god. 

According to the guys, I am a brat (I think so) seeing as they have always felt my presence more admired in the girls, yes I am avoiding any female interaction in my present as it doesn’t have anything fresh or amusing character in it and yet I am fed up with these part time thingies. Except for one, BUT, I am too smart to ask her out on the intuition of her breaking up the pleasant bond with me. We will discuss it briefly on the right occasion.  

Some of them think I have the potential to become an achiever and some think I have an inherited stock of opportunities through what I will make a bright future easily. I don’t know where they come from, yes I have a father who runs an IT business and I might expand his work but it will need my own skills and hard labor.

According to the girls/ friends of my social hub, I don’t know, I am just gambling over my words that they  might think of me as the mad party popper, many of them wondered I didn’t had a big birthday bash at a club with showering booze, gang bangs, and pretty faces. Well let me disclose that I didn’t have any of those, I was on a bike ride with one of my friend from school and ended up at a small gathering with few old pals and had a bowl of Maggie.

MY EX:

Where did those came from?  I would have written about my current mate but there isn’t any so let it be the past. I don’t know what ended my past relationships, was it me, them or both equally. Though I don’t give a damn about my ex, I still yarn for past sometimes. I guess, most of them would have given up on me by few misunderstandings or the interaction with other girls might have threatened them. Yes, I can get possessive but I guess possession comes from the affection only. Is that wrong? I need an answer for it which I never got. I gave space, as much as we are living on different planets but if even that isn’t enough we better be strangers then lovers. At least it won’t hurt me.

I remember one girl said to me “you don’t understand”, I didn’t said it then but now I just have a question for her, if my understanding wasn’t deep enough or my intellectual level was that shallow, why did you fall for me at the first place?      

THE CROWD:

Well these are the peoples that mattered not much but at a neutralized level. My concern had never been what they might think about me, for me they are just a bit less known faces that I can’t put my trust in. I greet them with a dimply smile, I spend time with them on momentary bases, but I am really unable to open or let my guards off in front of them.

That might create a bad reflection of mine and why won’t, I am responsible.

 Long story short, crowd sees me as a rude egoistic self-centered mean fellow,

I don’t care,
 never did,

Never will…..


Am I leaving anything? FOES?

For the record I do have some annoying rivals as well. It’s human nature. You can’t like or dislike everyone, so is with me, some guys’ gets on my nerve whenever I have an encounter with them. Whether it’s the bangbang episode or the ditching friends, some people aren’t meant to be a good companion with you.

 

The dreamer: end of life.

At the age of 20, dreaming the end might sound a little out of mind to everyone, but it’s me, can’t help my dreams. I wish in the upcoming future, a device would emerge out of a mad scientist lab through which we can control our dream world, built things and put a story behind them. See, what reality takes away from us, peoples, moments, pleasure, intimacy, achievements and everything else.

Coming back to the past, few days ago, after a regular night show of southpark, I was off to my sleeping schedule as usual. Yes, I have fixed the momentary insomnia I was dealing with. I lay on bed at 12 and wake up around 10, though it’s a lot to be stuck with bed but as they say, “old habits die slowly ”.

As I lay down on bed, the dreams took me high and the utopia emerged in front of my closed eyes.  I was sitting on the back seat of a car along with few loved one’s…. Let’s just say I was alone (as I don’t wish to disclose the dark side of the dream and hurt the beloved peoples). The driver was lashing car in a pace. I was looking out of the window, the dark hills and mountains were lightened up with a peachy partial light of moon, and the ground was below thousands of meters of wavy road. The ground was enlightened with in numerous lights of households, produced a pleasing reflection of stars on ground that clearly showed up few mortals were still awake in the night.

As roads got dirtier, driver went extreme in his work and out of nowhere there was a gleaming creature standing in the middle of road with a luscious green glow rising from its body, I couldn't create a cliche pattern in my mind of a mortal. The driver twisted the steering in order to save the creature and in fraction of seconds we were off the track.  You know everyone of us have seen the same scene in millions of movies that a car is flipping around sky after a wrong turn, everything in going on in slow motion. Peoples in the car are drifting in a clockwise motion. It happens. It really happens exactly like that. The only variation is that it happens way too fast then it appears in movies.

We often see that the person who is about to die says something magnificent, something that’s craved in golden ink, something that creates milestones and histories in papers. Nothing like that happens in reality, not with me.

While my car was tossing in air like a coin does in a game of heads or tails, my words to myself were, “am I going to die?” and the car smashed into a giant mountain, crashed on the ground.  

I didn't felt any pain, not a bit, i was stuffed in a compressed car, and the roof was as equal as the bottom. I crawled out of the broken window and saw my fellow co passenger standing at some distance. With resting his one leg on a piece of rock he peacefully said, “It’s finished”, I looked around and everything was so calm and quiet, still uncertainly I said “what? What’s finished? We are safe, we made it” he said “we are, we made it to the next level” by sensing the uncertain and doubtful thoughts on my face, He said “look into the car, and you shell be free of all your qualms”

As I peeked into the car I saw everyone wrapped in a single color, as if they have been through a blood bath, I couldn't verify any of them by their faces, but by the clothes they were wearing.

I realized I was dead, my conscience said “finally it’s over, no fears of getting any mortal diseases, no fear of anything, you’re free from everything”

My every recognizable information about becoming extinct and wandering ghosts was in vain. As what I saw, the spirit of dead is like an image in those CRT monitors. When you switch it off, the image stays there for some time. Same happens with spirits, they stays around their loved ones like a decaying image that disintegrates day by day and vanishes one final day of moksha…