Earning

I have started earning from the beginning of my childhood.
 Things that matters to no one but to me.
As far as I remember,
 While watching an old black and white television when I was 3 or so, I earned music, Moving pictures and objects, a life of its own inside a box whose quality of reception depends on the way we twist and turns its antenna. I grew with peoples running to save my life whenever I fell down and got few blood strings on my corpse, I earned their love, their shed.

At the age of 5, I was running with wheels on my shoes, my father was taught me basics of skating, I fell enormous times hurting my head, my arms and so on, I earned skills.

At 7, a candy man unknowingly dropped few Poppins candies while walking through the road in front of our rented house. I picked those candies, I ran after him and gave those back to him at the end of the road, I earned respect.
At 10, I found myself running on a racing track along with other students, I ran with all I got, still I lost the race, I earned failure with a spirit of participation.

While playing the terrorist in a school play in 5^th standard, I earned the nervousness, excitement, some unknown, unfamiliar, unexplainable feelings in stomach and becoming the one of terrifying element of 7^th C, I earned the scolding of my teachers, the disappointments of my parents.

I woke up at one time, I found myself taking a nap in our class, I saw the birds outside the window, I earned the last bench in class.
Hands parallel, straight, facing the sky, just like it was 12 on one’s watch, it was 9^th standard, I earned the laughter of class, bow downs of back benchers, Disrespect of the staff.

Few rhyming words on the end of each sentence, I was reading a poem on the stage of our school.
I came back a winner, I was holding my trophy shield. The day’s rest lectures were spend in a blank mode for me, I was high on the success, I was praising my victory.
  I earned an achievement, proud of parents.

Days went on and I was sitting on a bench in the park of my school, it was my 15^th year of life, 11^th of my schooling, I was sharing that bench with a beauty, a face full of sunshine, of blushing smile,
I was sharing a moment of contact, of intimacy. Though it was momentary, still…

I earned some hearts,
 I earned pleasure,
I earned emotions.

Thinking about those days now, I realize that I earned a type cast image by my school friends.


I was about to finish the first semester of my engineering life. I was high on my first drops of alcohol, I was legal to have a taste that was bitter from rest, it was my birthday. And I earned the cloud 9
, I was in around my friends that are no more around me.  I earned the eyes to categorize peoples, to make a section for everyone….

 
It was my second year in college and long hairs was not all that I got, I found myself among a stream of estrogens, fake smiles, desperate, idiotic and wittiness. I won’t say I am an expert but still I could sense that I was an artificial “made up crush” in campus. I wasn’t interested in any one week or a month’s romance anymore, what I wanted was just a knot for the rest of my life, In order to stay away from the chaotic crowd, I had to be rough, I earned hatred, I earned gloominess, I earned the tag of egoistic, Mr. Attitude….

what I am today Is a perception of own for everyone, everyone thinks that they can figure me out in a blink of eye, everyone thinks that I am a puzzle that they can easily crack. I earned plenty of tags for plenty of peoples.
For few I am hopelessly emotional,
for few I am a day dreamer,
for few I am flirt,
for few I am immature,
for few I am a spoiled brat,
for few I am negative,
And for few I am just like rest…

Frankly I don’t care about the world around me,
Call me whatever you want to,
I would still be what I am.
I earned a believe that humanity is still alive in few of us,

Few will see the real me…