In 2 hours

There were many encounters with graceful kind of peoples in my life, I had relationships, I had break ups, crushes & few flings. But soon after the roughest break up I had, I started disbelieving the thing called “love”. Though I still have an envious desire to be with someone, I can’t give a name to that relationship. 

It all seems too phony to me, and this presumption became sturdier when I recollect the incident of last 2 days or the specific two hours. 

HOUR NO 1

In my facebook profile, I found a startling raise in notifications on one day. A girl named khushi had liked and commented on more than 30 snaps of mine, I genuinely accept that I don’t count under the “tall dark handsome” category but still praised by a stranger, I felt obliged as well as awed, my consciences told me to not fall for the bait . Most of the time I stay offline while logging on to my account as I’ve always walked away from chit chats, but that day I went online. Yes, she was right there, stolen a look of mine at her tab. 

“hi” initiated conversation. Well the trick is to not show too much interest yet seemed into her. Just like push and pull.  Comment on her at one moment compliment on another.

“I think you’re single right now, isn’t it?” I texted  

“Yup, but how do you know?” she.

“it’s just a logical theory of mine, anyways”

“tell me no? I am interested in these logics” 

(when you succeed to glue her to the conversation, it shows she’s interested in you. )

it doesn’t matter what logic you tell her. It must sound appealing as well as baiting for a longer conversation. And when she has already liked your snaps, you are on a way to success.

“But I think your committed” (she)

“and why is that?”

“logic ;) ”

(when the opponent pulls out the same trick, it means she’s definitely in to you, now even if you know the answer you have to seem interested.)

“OMG. I love logics. Please tell me that?”

Doesn’t matter either what crazy stuff she tells you, you must show you’re impressed.

When the both sides show an “involved” signal, the first step is done.

I just lay back on that time and knew I don’t have anything to do now, in the next 5 minutes she told me things you hear in Indian movies, like

“A lot things are common between us” 

(even if it wasn’t I hated justin bieber whereas she loved him, I found novels and writing blogs interesting whereas she found it dreary, but I don’t know after all of contrast nature, she was still into me that was indeed odd)

But I didn’t wanted to hurt any sentimental back then and politely replied.

“Yes it isJ”

“You know what lets exchange numbers?”

(Wow what was that? Few minutes ago we were completely outsiders and now we were exchanging numbers)

“ummm okay.. ” (With hesitation)

“8890267234 call me ;)

“Okay”

and after that I went offline. With doubts and ambiguity about today’s generation, I guess I am too old now. 

HOUR NO 2.

“Hey, you didn’t call me yesterday?”

“I was a bit busy” (I wasn’t busy but I didn’t like the way it was going, too fast)

“Anyway, tell me yours digits and I’ll call you Mr. busy boy”

“9920276248”

“gotcha ;) I really liked the way you were talking yesterday, though I dislike your affection to novels and writing, I found you dashing in your snaps”

“shukira J” (means thanks)

And a moment later we were chatting over cellphone, this and that here and there. She sound really into me and I was really into the novel I wasn’t able to read because of her, I regretted giving her my digits.  

“Listen, I’ve pre boards till 29 then we shall meet over a movie or something”

“you sure you want to meet on this crucial time of your main exams?”

When I was in 12^th I was immersed into last year papers on that time, things are changed now.

“No big deal sweetheart anything for you”

“Okay, hey it’s too late for now, we’ve been talking for whole 30 minutes, and shouldn’t we sleep now?”

“Oh c’mon... It’s just 1 am, don’t tell me you sleep early and shit?”

“No but you must, it’s not good at exam time”

“Okay…. Good night, I lo--”

I ended the call before she dropped the 3 letter word. I was literally horrified at that moment.

She called me regularly for the next 3-4 days but I always cut her short by saying that her exams are much important then our conversation.

It must sound like I am afraid of relationships by reading this post. But it’s not. I am just different then rest. For me the relationship that reaches the top with a great pace falls down with greater. It’s like gravity, projectile motion.

Replican nation

India, once a country known for its holy traditions, genuine spices and versatile culture is now going replica of other nations in the art section.

I can’t identify what are the real reasons behind it, lack of ingenuity & risk adaption or fear of failure. Because when I see movies of today’s Indian cinema, half of them are replicas of foreign movies.  For example,

Desi boys- deucebigalow male gigolo

Houseful- The cooler

Players- The Italian job

Aisha – emma

The list goes on by endless titles, but the real offence the film makers make is claiming their movies to be genuine, obviously it’s a promotional strategy since no one would watch their movie in first place if they tell the audience that it’s a remake of another movie.

What our movie makers are lacking is not only creativity but intelligence as well. They try to remake an English movie in half or less price of its original budget. Why would a person waste his money on a replica if he can get the genuine vision easily at torrent or other download sites?

Though there are producers who make a “genuine copy” by openly accepting their source of inspiration like karan johar did in we are family, which was a remake of English movie step mom, failed to create any sensation anyways.

As the time changes source of copying has also been diverted to other directions like south Indian cinema and old hindi movies itself.  Like ssholay, agneepath and forthcoming janjeer.zanjeer

Though these acts will continue for a long time, peoples like anurag kashyap, rakeysh omprakashmehra, sanjay leela bhansali and imtiaz ali kept my belief alive in indian cinema.

Not only movies but music as well, who can forget the legendary self claimed artist anu malik, well his time is gone now but he did his bit of duplication, must not forget pritam whose tracks are a lot like foreign songs for which he had been dragged to court few times, although I loved the music of barfi and raabta from agent vinod but that doesn’t make him clean.  Still the music has been copied from ages so that’s not a big deal these days.
movies, posters(or shall I say imposters), music, tv shows and what else.

What took my attention most was the recent novel I read, “30 year old virgin” by ankit uttam, I should have thought for a while before starting it when the title itself ring a bell about the movies like “The 40 year old virgin” “18 year old virgin”. But that was just title.

The 30 year old virgin was a immitation of friendswith benefits starring justin timberlake and mila kunis. Can’t leave the post without writing how mesmerising mila kunis eyes looks, damn shes HAWT.!

Remember this scene? Yes, exactly this is the place where actual shit begins.

Friends with benefits {MOVIE}

30 year old virgin {NOVEL}

Jamie: God, I miss sex! Right, I mean sometimes you just need it. It's like...uh, it's like cracking your neck.  Dylan: Why does it always got to come with complications? Jamie: And emotions. Dylan: And guilt. Jamie: Woh! Guilt! Dylan: It's women’s fault. Jamie: What? Dylan: You heard me! 'Hold me.' 'Let’s spend the rest of our lives together.' Jamie: Oh, please! You are no better. 'Oh, yeah. Baby, come on now. Say my name. Yeah...eee...uuhh! I'm done. How was that?' Dylan: Who have you been with?

maya: yeah, sometime you just need it. Just like cracking your knuckles. Arnav: sex always comes with problems. Maya: and complications. Arnav: and sentimental. Maya: and responsibility. Arnav: and guilt. Maya:  arrah… guilt. Arnav: it’s a woman’s fault. Maya: what? Arnav: oh majnu,hold me.kiss me like you have never kissed before. Let’s spend our lives together. Maya: “and guys. C’mon baby… ugh.. say my name.. ahhh.. Yeah say it.. Say it .. ahh.. I am done. How was that?” Arnav: who the hell have you been with for all those years?

 This is one of many actually many of many actually the half novel is full on ripped of friends with benefits. Where gay tommy hits on justin, gay Ronnie hits on arnav, where justin and mila take oath on a bible app on mila’s notepad, arnav and maya take the oath on arnav’s gita. Same catalog read before sex like “I don’t like dirty talk, my nipples are sensitive” and other precautionary measures.

You can read the novel or watch the movie, if you ask me, go for the movie, since originality is always better. For the same reasons I never liked 3 idiots whereas 5 point something was way superior as well as vivacious.

It’s not that I am being offensive rude or insulting the authors, writers, directors or producers. I am just being a little sensible. It’s more profitable as well. A best seller novel or a hit movie is made of genuine subjects.

Look at these small budget movies that grossed crazy figures.

DHOBI GHAT

Director- Kiran Rao

Starring- Prateik Babbar, Aamir Khan, Monica Dogra, Kriti Malhotra

Rating- 4/5

Kiran Rao’s directorial debut was about Munna, a dhobi at the dhobi ghat of Mumbai and his clients. It shows the various shadesof the city Mumbai. The movie is one of the best films of 2011 without a doubt. Dhobi Ghat touches you, shocks you and makes you think.

Made on a budget of Rs. 10 crores, the movie managed to rake in Rs. 14 crore despite being offbeat.

YEH SAALI ZINDAGI

Director- Sudhir Mishra

Starring- Irrfan Khan, Arunoday Singh, Chitrangda Singh

Rating- 3.5/5

Yeh Saali Zindagi opened to empty cinemas on 4 February 2011. The movie was about politics, kidnapping, betrayal and twists. Word of mouth helped the movie pick up some moolah in its second week.

Yeh Saali Zindagi had a budget of Rs. 8 Crores and it managed to bring in Rs. 11 Crores, making the producer Prakash Jha a happy man.

PYAR KA PUNCHNAMA

Director- Luv Ranjan

Starring- Kartik Tiwari, Rayo Bakhirta, Nushrat Bharucha, Ishita Sharma, Divyendu, Sonalli Sahgall

Rating- 3 / 5

Pyar Ka Punchnama is about three bachelors and their love lives. It gives the viewer a man’s opinion on relationships, girls and marriage. Though the film is a bit crass and biased against women, it is a good entertainer. PKP had no hopes at the Box Office in its first week but because there was no big film to counter it and the word of mouth spread in its favor, the movie managed to make some profit.

Pyar Ka Punchnama was made on a budget of Rs. 12 Crores and managed to get the producers around Rs. 16 Crores.

Not only these but also kahani, no one killed Jessica, hazaron khwahishein aisi and a lot more.

Just give it a thought. A star may come with a guaranteed hit, but a genuine story can make it way more profitable.

we are capable, we have everything, we just need a gut feeling to take risks.

Diffusion

There are certain prospective by which a person is partitioned or diffused in plenty of personalities. Views which categorize one into many. Although I’ve never gave much of a thought about it as it would be a squander of time for anyone, still as an explorer or by simple curiosity I would try to figure out how exactly I fill the spaces of others lives.

As they says “if you have to judge peoples, step into their shoes”, I am not judging but building my own image in other’s mind. How exactly I appear to others.

MY PARENTS:

Although my parents have a certain level of understanding with each other, as per I see their view toward me partially differs.

There’s no second thought about me being much closer to my father emotionally, I am dependent on both of them entirely.  I feel a bit gloomy over my existence that I didn’t came up to their expectations, though I never sense this in their words or behavior towards me but I am certain that they would have been much happier if I would have made an impact on rest. They don’t disclose but are bothered by my motionless social life. I accept the fact that I am sort of an anti social person. Speak less or nothing in front of the rest of family tree or the substantially chain of relatives. At some point they do hate the cynic in me. I can’t blame the isolated upbringing in an air force campus since my sister had been through same life style and she turned out to be a great socialite, I envy her for that. Since childhood I have been a “in shell” person, but that doesn’t make me a hard core rebellious.  I share joyous moment with my parents and always will.

MY FRIENDS:

I do support a petite friend circle that has the faithful and honest mortals, it might sound cheesy but I am proud of those few peoples. It does used to be a gargantuan circle in the school days and the initials of college, but don’t know how, don’t know why the size kept reducing and reached the mighty end of extinction, it seems true when people says "your friends changes with your priorities", through time maybe i fell on the bottom of their priority list and one day i was drained out of it. I guess the prime reasons were my sensible nature and cynical philosophy. A person hurts me and expect me to get over it easily is a rare likelihood. i don’t forgive neither forget, cause I am a mortal creature, I am not  god. 

According to the guys, I am a brat (I think so) seeing as they have always felt my presence more admired in the girls, yes I am avoiding any female interaction in my present as it doesn’t have anything fresh or amusing character in it and yet I am fed up with these part time thingies. Except for one, BUT, I am too smart to ask her out on the intuition of her breaking up the pleasant bond with me. We will discuss it briefly on the right occasion.  

Some of them think I have the potential to become an achiever and some think I have an inherited stock of opportunities through what I will make a bright future easily. I don’t know where they come from, yes I have a father who runs an IT business and I might expand his work but it will need my own skills and hard labor.

According to the girls/ friends of my social hub, I don’t know, I am just gambling over my words that they  might think of me as the mad party popper, many of them wondered I didn’t had a big birthday bash at a club with showering booze, gang bangs, and pretty faces. Well let me disclose that I didn’t have any of those, I was on a bike ride with one of my friend from school and ended up at a small gathering with few old pals and had a bowl of Maggie.

MY EX:

Where did those came from?  I would have written about my current mate but there isn’t any so let it be the past. I don’t know what ended my past relationships, was it me, them or both equally. Though I don’t give a damn about my ex, I still yarn for past sometimes. I guess, most of them would have given up on me by few misunderstandings or the interaction with other girls might have threatened them. Yes, I can get possessive but I guess possession comes from the affection only. Is that wrong? I need an answer for it which I never got. I gave space, as much as we are living on different planets but if even that isn’t enough we better be strangers then lovers. At least it won’t hurt me.

I remember one girl said to me “you don’t understand”, I didn’t said it then but now I just have a question for her, if my understanding wasn’t deep enough or my intellectual level was that shallow, why did you fall for me at the first place?      

THE CROWD:

Well these are the peoples that mattered not much but at a neutralized level. My concern had never been what they might think about me, for me they are just a bit less known faces that I can’t put my trust in. I greet them with a dimply smile, I spend time with them on momentary bases, but I am really unable to open or let my guards off in front of them.

That might create a bad reflection of mine and why won’t, I am responsible.

 Long story short, crowd sees me as a rude egoistic self-centered mean fellow,

I don’t care,
 never did,

Never will…..


Am I leaving anything? FOES?

For the record I do have some annoying rivals as well. It’s human nature. You can’t like or dislike everyone, so is with me, some guys’ gets on my nerve whenever I have an encounter with them. Whether it’s the bangbang episode or the ditching friends, some people aren’t meant to be a good companion with you.

 

The dreamer: end of life.

At the age of 20, dreaming the end might sound a little out of mind to everyone, but it’s me, can’t help my dreams. I wish in the upcoming future, a device would emerge out of a mad scientist lab through which we can control our dream world, built things and put a story behind them. See, what reality takes away from us, peoples, moments, pleasure, intimacy, achievements and everything else.

Coming back to the past, few days ago, after a regular night show of southpark, I was off to my sleeping schedule as usual. Yes, I have fixed the momentary insomnia I was dealing with. I lay on bed at 12 and wake up around 10, though it’s a lot to be stuck with bed but as they say, “old habits die slowly ”.

As I lay down on bed, the dreams took me high and the utopia emerged in front of my closed eyes.  I was sitting on the back seat of a car along with few loved one’s…. Let’s just say I was alone (as I don’t wish to disclose the dark side of the dream and hurt the beloved peoples). The driver was lashing car in a pace. I was looking out of the window, the dark hills and mountains were lightened up with a peachy partial light of moon, and the ground was below thousands of meters of wavy road. The ground was enlightened with in numerous lights of households, produced a pleasing reflection of stars on ground that clearly showed up few mortals were still awake in the night.

As roads got dirtier, driver went extreme in his work and out of nowhere there was a gleaming creature standing in the middle of road with a luscious green glow rising from its body, I couldn't create a cliche pattern in my mind of a mortal. The driver twisted the steering in order to save the creature and in fraction of seconds we were off the track.  You know everyone of us have seen the same scene in millions of movies that a car is flipping around sky after a wrong turn, everything in going on in slow motion. Peoples in the car are drifting in a clockwise motion. It happens. It really happens exactly like that. The only variation is that it happens way too fast then it appears in movies.

We often see that the person who is about to die says something magnificent, something that’s craved in golden ink, something that creates milestones and histories in papers. Nothing like that happens in reality, not with me.

While my car was tossing in air like a coin does in a game of heads or tails, my words to myself were, “am I going to die?” and the car smashed into a giant mountain, crashed on the ground.  

I didn't felt any pain, not a bit, i was stuffed in a compressed car, and the roof was as equal as the bottom. I crawled out of the broken window and saw my fellow co passenger standing at some distance. With resting his one leg on a piece of rock he peacefully said, “It’s finished”, I looked around and everything was so calm and quiet, still uncertainly I said “what? What’s finished? We are safe, we made it” he said “we are, we made it to the next level” by sensing the uncertain and doubtful thoughts on my face, He said “look into the car, and you shell be free of all your qualms”

As I peeked into the car I saw everyone wrapped in a single color, as if they have been through a blood bath, I couldn't verify any of them by their faces, but by the clothes they were wearing.

I realized I was dead, my conscience said “finally it’s over, no fears of getting any mortal diseases, no fear of anything, you’re free from everything”

My every recognizable information about becoming extinct and wandering ghosts was in vain. As what I saw, the spirit of dead is like an image in those CRT monitors. When you switch it off, the image stays there for some time. Same happens with spirits, they stays around their loved ones like a decaying image that disintegrates day by day and vanishes one final day of moksha…

I love my India?

It’s not only about the Delhi rape victim who just died from multi function failure. It’s about every human being who is raped, molested, abused, misused, exploited and killed in our country. Why only our country? Why only india?
Here’s the fact.

1.    1.   Rapes in India are exactly doubled in the duration of 1990 and 2012.

2.    2. In an article posted in 2002, according to the directories, in every 54 minutes a girl is raped.

3.    3.  You must be hoping that the bars would have come down in 2012 but no, today, in every 20 minutes a girl is raped in india. Our country is progressing, where?

4.    4.   Let alone the rest of country, in every 18 hours a girl is raped in delhi and molested in every 14 hours. 

5.      

6.       As you see in the image, sourced by delhi police administration, most of rapes and molestations in delhi are done by relatives, friends & acquaintances.
I suppose you don’t need to be scared of strangers but your own peoples.

These facts are sourced by our government’s directories that means, there are much more rapes in reality, since, half of rape cases are not filed or reported due to the honor and status of a orthodox society (yaar, ghanta ukhad loge repo ka when your own family will suffering?)

The shocking fact is that every rapist or molester is below 25 year. Yeah, rage of overflowing libido & testosterone  why don’t you cut off the prick which is supposed to be root of this problem?  

If you think your hormones are high, why don’t you just jerk off and save your and others time??

No hormone but the shameful mentality is responsible for these actions.

Changes in law that must be taken:

1.       Rapists must be hanged if victim dies.

2.       Every rapist must be castrated.

3.       Rapist must be imprisoned for life time.

4.       Molesters must be imprisoned for least 20 years.

We don’t have to punish but destroy every criminal so that he will understand what he has done, what he deserves. We have to show them HELL.

And to the government,

Give the same treatment to every victim that you have given to that girl. it’s obvious that you have taken this matter seriously as it have became a political issue.

Just think for a sec, if every victim gets that level of high treatment, how many girls would be saved from dying till now?

Even the social media has taken this news as their TRP dose, four days and we hear nothing but the same news of protests and rebellious delhi peoples.

And when it’s india vs Pakistan? Screw the girl’s news we have already used that and let’s focus on indo pak rivalry, we can make a lot of moolas   out of this stuff..
“Disgrace on you guys, you proved everything is nothing but business, news business” at least choose a better profession where you don’t have to feed on other’s lives.

We are not here to brag about social injustice, unfairness and discrimination. We don’t ask for the best but at least a better system.

And if you say, join politics and run nation. It’s not our work. It’s yours. And yes, if it’s our job then I elect arvind kejrival, anna,kiran bedi and prashant bhushan Resign from your spot and let these people take the responsibilities in their hands.

You have a nation to run, feel the responsibility on your shoulders.

 We don’t want attention,
we want solution,

We want justice.

The wasted hours..

As time passed by 8^th to 20^th of this month with a furious pace of exams, I resulted in a lazy panda from the zoo. Although I was able to transform my schedule to an ideal mode, but it didn’t helped me in doing something innovative.

 Dad has still kept me away from the family business that I am irresistibly willing to drawn myself into but I guess it’s not the right time as dad says.

Now when I have all the time in the world, I begin my day with a new chapter of a crappy novel , being better then a 90 minute movie, a novel helps a lot killing this heap of time I have. No wonder I hate its high class sophisticated slang as I have to keep a dictionary app opened in my android. I mean if it’s made for the Indian readers as its author and the publishing house says then why the hell it isn’t written like a bit SIMPLER.

I have read a few novelists like chetan bhagat, ravindra singh, Neil strauss and a few more, yes I accept I am not much of a reader far away from being a certified critic, I understood what’s written and what does it means. But the “Right fit wrong shoe” was a disaster to read.  Although I liked the story but the language was a bit too complex for a teenage mind. They should put some warning signs on these kinds of books.

The story in this novel couldn’t be more  filmy then it was.  Rich families young lovers opposite attractions status differences, gosh it was a bunch of hindi movies mashed up into a single book.

It could be a nice novel for the kids born after 2010 since they haven’t gone through this crap in movies . Not as fruitful as it seemed to look from the cover.

Anyways, you can go for this one if you like typical bollywood stuff,  wasn't my thing though. 

messed

What does make sense?

Infect does anything makes sense at all? I am four days away from my seventh semester’s main exams.  And after all plans and strategies, all the rough work and all the aims, motives, I am sitting on my desk, writing once again.

As I was left with 10 days for preparation for my exams, I decided to leave few things until I get rid of my exams. I signed off from gym for 20 days, I left college, meetings, social gatherings, even the writing, and when I say I left writing I mean I left pretty much “everything”. To give my whole hours to study and study only. But what am I left with?

Fake promises that I made to myself?  I have hardly read 10% of my whole course with no info about the 90% I still have to complete in four days.

Picking up book for 10 minutes, pick up facebook for another hour, a whole night to movies. I am watching movies more then I watch on regular days. Have I become a movieholic? Does that count in a disorder? I guess not as if it did, MS word would have approved it as a grammatical error free disorder.

Am I enjoying this break as a holiday from work cause all I do my whole time is eat sleep watch movies and add this hour to useless writing that won’t get me a regular pay check anyway?

When I used to go to college, I had this tight schedule of going college, sleeping afternoon sweating for 2 hours at gym and sleeping right at 2 or 3 am. Its late I know but even if it was late, I used to wake up again at same 7 in the morning.

But now, I sleep at 6 in the morning, I wake up at 4 in afternoon, the time when everyone works I lay dead on my bed. The time when everyone sleeps, I watch movies.

As I can recall, I’ve  seen rush, a typical hindi 2 and half star hindi movie, which was watchable for once but couldn't make a memorable impact on me and the rubysparks, which was an amazingly created movie made by a fresh mind.

I just can’t resist this urge to watch more and more of anything.

What am I up to with my life is a mystery to myself.  I am 20, will become 21 in the initial months of next year, except from age what am I gaining?

The spirit,
I am just loosing it…..!!